Tap, Tap, Tap!

I was watching some professional wrestling today and I must admit it was fun. Big, huge guys making complete asses of themselves, a sell out crowd that is either crazy or crazy, and I haven't even mentioned the divas yet! So what if it's all fake? Don't think of it as a sport with players, think of it as a soap opera with actors. And then suddenly it becomes fun.

I remember watching pro wrestling when I was a kid. Yup! One of those kids who were always being referred to when in the commercial break one of the stars would say, "Please kids, do not try this at home!" I never did. Not because I didn't want to but because I didn't have a younger brother to experiment on. And as far as I was concerned, taking on someone bigger than yourself was something that was best left for the professionals on TV!

What I did do though, was drive everyone I came across insane with the lines of all my favorite wrestlers. The lines and the actions they would perform while saying them. I would memorize every statement of theirs ad verbatim, and then spew it out on my unfortunate Nana. Yup! The dear ol' lady was the only one around patient enough to bear my blather!

Uptil the time I was in Grade 6-7 things the WWF remained pretty clean. Not much blood (except if it was some main event) and certainly no skin show (from the ladies, I mean). The Rattlesnake Stone Cold Steve Austin was taking over from the previous generation of greats like The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan. These dudes had moseyed over to WCW a rival organization where the pastures were apparently greener. But then things started to heat up. With the influx of beauties like Sable, Debra and their ilk as well as language that grew more and more flowery by the week. Not that I minded. But somehow it wasn't quite the same watching it with your parents around when who aren't quite sure who's going to drop what when!

So I gave up the grand old sport. Uh sorry, soap! I moved on to better things. Like real girls and real porn! I still caught the occasional five minutes of The Undertaker choke slamming The Rock, but never anything more than that.

Until today, when I happened to watch about an hour of it. Like I said - it was fun. It sure beats studying and there was nothing else on on TV anyways. The irony of the situation is that the actual wrestling is the least entertaining portion of the whole show. The excitement lies solely in all the fights and arguments that the wrestlers get into outside the ring! Like "Why have you been fooling around with my lady?" or "Watch while I break your car's windshield!" And even in the ring, it's quite unpredictable. I know it's a pre-planned script, but you never quite know what's going to happen next. And when you do think you know, they pull something new out of the bag.

One remarkable change since the time I was in Grade 7 is that now almost every fight can be expected to draw at least some blood and almost every show will contain about 3-4 diva appearances. The trend of getting the divas to divest their tops has sadly gone out of fashion about 2-3 years back. On a more legal note, the WWF was sued by their animal-loving namesakes had to switch to WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment).

Why do people watch such stuff? Why do they pay huge amounts for tickets to these shows? I'm not sure exactly. Maybe it's some primeval thrill that we receive by watching men beat themselves silly. The same thrill that caused our Roman ancestors to organize gladiator battles. Maybe we just view it as cheap entertainment. Like a weekly soap. At least I do. What I do know for sure is that it's certainly worth at least one watch!