I am no great animal lover. I do not find little puppies cute. Nor bats. So when a couple of months ago a bat decided it liked my balcony as a hang-out zone (pun intended!), I decided it was time to take matters into my own (very capable) hands. Now, Ozzy Osbourne would have gotten rid of the little vermin by biting its ugly little head off, but a detailed study has finally concluded that although I do fancy peeing on audiences at a rock concert, I am not Ozzy!
So I decided to just drive the poor thing away. But it came back. So I drove it away again. And again it came back! 2395 'drive-away and come-back's later (ok, so it probably was a little less than that!), I'd had enough! It was like a bad horror novel... without the hot chicks! A 2x4 should settle things nicely. One well-timed swing and the little twerp was gone permanently. Not just from my balcony, but from this world!
Apparently though, the news network in the bat community isn't quite great. (It must be Aaj Tak!) So while you may have thought that my act would keep all the other bats away from the killing grounds (read - my balcony), that's not really what happened. Well, things were quiet for a while. But then this evening another bat decided to come and settle (upside) down!
Now, having already once been given a demonstration of the learning abilities (or the lack of them) of a bat, I decided that this time the 2x4 would make an earlier appearance. Let no one say that I'm a cold-hearted murderer callous about the lives of God's little creatures, though! So I did give it one chance to make good it's escape. But no! It came back. 2x4, nice swing, connect - presto! No bat!
I don't think any more bats are likely to put in appearances in my balcony any more. Unless they want to commit suicide. In that case, they don't have too many other choices. It's hard for a bat to buy sleeping pills or any other drugs at the pharmacy! Well, the 2x4's ready!