Saturday, May 07, 2005

Jean-erally Speaking...

It's not hard to notice that the current trend in fashion is to wear your jeans as low as possible. Wearing them on your waist is too old-fashioned to even consider. Wearing them on your hips? Hmmm... only if it's the most formal of occasions! For anything else, they should start at least a good half foot below your belly button. (Geez! Do they still call it that?)

Do not, however, take this ability for granted. It's an art, that requires much skill and practice! There's only so low a pair of jeans can go before they slip off your tushy! And therein lies the hard part. Getting them as low as they can possibly go, without them actually sliding off as you're walking down 23rd Avenue. Boys, incidently, are a lot better at this than girls! I'm not being sexist here; it's just the way our bodies are built. A guy can get that pair of denims a lot lower than a girl can. The current records (as measured in inches below the navel) stand at 9.75 for guys and 7.5 for girls!

Incidently this fashion, though modern, is said to have rather ancient roots. It is believed to have been started by that fierce 13th century Mongol general Jean-ghis Khan! Today's masters include Jean-nifer Lopez and Jean (rhymes with Sean) Cena from the WWE!

And while on the one hand, the jeans have been getting lower and lower, the t-shirts have been getting shorter and shorter. Thus resulting in an exposure of midriffs on a scale never seen before! This can sometimes be a little hard for the older, more traditional generation to stomach (pardon the pun)! It nevertheless provides welcome eye-candy for the younger, not-so-traditional generation!

I am in no way against fashion of this sort. In fact I am very much for it. (Quite obvious, considering I am one of the younger generation!) What I disapprove of, though, is when the people who try it are too self-concious to pull it off. What's the point in wearing those loose, revealing jeans if you're going to spend every sitting minute with one hand on your ass to keep pulling that t-shirt down? If you're too afraid of what you may reveal, then keep those jeans up and those tops long enough.

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