Sunday, May 15, 2005

From the Back Seat!


Since this post is going to be about women and driving, I am certain to get screwed one way or the other. Should I speak in favor of female drivers, I risk being ostracized from Men’s Clubs all over the world; and yet should I speak against them I can be assured of having a mob of angry women (probably led by Varsha Kale) campaigning outside my house! It's almost like voluntarily placing myself between Scylla and Charybdis. Even worse actually, for at least those two were mythological and therefore it's unlikely they would be able to do me much harm!

One important fact to note here is that men and women view their cars in very different ways. For him it is an intriguing combination of gears, wheel, shafts, motors, belts (blah blah) fitted together to work in harmony and produce the perfect output. For her it's a just a mode of going from place A to place B. In this respect, I am more lady than gentleman. A car is a car; and as long it will get me from here to there without too much trouble, I'm happy!

I learnt to drive when I was 17. No fuss about it. I pestered my Dad until he took me out one fine evening to an empty road and told me to take over. That was it. Sneaking out late at night after everyone had gone to sleep provided enough practice for me to be able to get my diving license a few weeks later.

I remember the time my Mom was learning to drive the car. She'd get in, adjust the rear view mirror, adjust the seat, adjust the side rear view mirror, adjust her seat again, adjust both mirrors again and then finally turn the ignition. It would be another 10 seconds before she managed to get the engine started. I was in a way thankful for all this delay though, for it ensured I had enough time to say all my prayers! It's funny what it takes for an atheist to turn religious.

On that note though, here's a small joke. Once a priest and a bus-driver died at the same time and were met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. The driver was given a lavish welcome and all the best facilities in heaven, while the priest was more or less ignored. So he asked St. Peter, "How is it that I, a man of God, am being treated this way, while this here bus driver gets all the attention?"
"God, my son," says Pete, "is very result oriented. And you see, when you preached the congregation slept; but while he drove they all prayed!"

With this logic though, any woman with a driving license is definitely headed for paradise!

I do believe men make better drivers. Just ask a man and a woman to back into a parking space using only the rear view mirror and you'll see what I mean. Some say this is because men tend to possess superior visuo-spatial abilities. But methinks the trick lies in the fact that few women can look into a mirror without stopping to check whether their lipstick is perfect and adjust their hair!

Ok, so maybe not all men are better drivers than all women, but certainly on an average a man would be a better driver. Women, however, tend to be safer drivers. The ratio of women drivers to the number of major accidents caused by them would be far less the corresponding ratio for men. Sure, women do tend to have a lot of minor accidents but rarely do they result in major casualties. That's because they are normally more careful. They would be less likely to overtake in tight situations or drive when under the influence of alcohol. Also, let's not overlook the fact that all the passengers of the vehicle driven by the woman will have said their prayers!

To end, here's another joke.

A woman enters her house and tells her husband there's something wrong with the car. He says he'll take a look. She tells him, "There's water in the carburetor."

He replies, "Pah! What do you know? You don't even know where the carburetor is! Are you trying to teach me about cars?"

She's adamant, "I'm telling you there's water in the carburetor!"

"Ok, ok! Tell me where the car is and I'll go have a look."

"In the swimming pool!"


4 comments:

Aditya Bidikar said...

Interesting. Very interesting.

arnold said...

what exactly are you refering to?

Aditya Bidikar said...

I'm referring to the post, of course, Arnold. You did some wonderful see-sawing there - offending no one, yet poking at everyone. Nice way of writing.

arnold said...

the fine art of diplomacy is indeed an excellent (and useful) gift, my friend! saves one a lot otherwise unnecessary troubles and woes! lol...