Friday, March 04, 2005

An "Almost" Fight

Last night was our college's Annual Funfair; and it was a thoroughly depressing event. The DJ-ing sucked because they were charging Rs. 50 per request and then playing the song for only 15-20 seconds. What crap! I can't decide which DJ was worse - DJ I-am-a-Fucker or DJ My-Prick-is-too-Small. Let's just say both sucked bigtime.
Then there was this absolutely ridiculous stall named "Central Jail". The idea being you pay them 20 bucks and give them a name; then they go and find the person whose name you gave, pick him/her up and throw him/her in the jail in their stall. Now some shit-headed, pee-brained ass decided that he would give my name. So I suddenly find these two guys approaching me and asking me to come with them. Before I know it, I'm thrown into the back of the stall and informed that I was gonna have to wait there for 20 minutes unless I pay them 20 bucks to bail myself out.
Quite easily the most mindfucked idea I'd heard in a long time and I let them all know that, in no uncertain terms. I abused the crap out off all the stall owners including three stupid females. That's when they had the fucking audacity to tell me that for another 10 bucks extra, I could not only release myself but also throw in jail the person who had put me in. I told them to kiss my ass and threatened to pick up one of the rods in their fucked up jail and beat the shit out of them. That's when they decided that this was one jail-bird not to be messed with. They decide to let me go trying to explain that it was all in the name of fun and I should be a sport.
"A sport?" I retort. "I am a sport. But this fucked up idea of yours is so ludicrous that only someone with the sickest sense of humor would enjoy it. Why the fuck should I fucking pay you anything to get myself out of your fucking stall? Who in fuck's name gave you the right to keep me confined anywhere? I'm just gonna fucking walk out and anyone who stops me is getting a broken nose. AND I'm gonna collect a few guys and pick you fuckers up and throw you'll in the washroom and then charge each of you'll a 100 bucks to get out. Or else you can languish in there forever, drinking toilet-bowl water for the rest of you fucked up lives!"
I think that scared them enough because they apologized profusely and let me go.
Message to you all - DO NOT MESS WITH ME!!

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