Went to Germany, Saw No Football.

I'm not sure what I used to think the worst job in the world was, but a new contender has marked its arrival on the scene. The security men standing around the ground at all the football stadia for the World Cup. In case you haven't noticed, during each match there is an entire squad of security guys in bright fluorescent yellow jackets encircling the ground spaced out at regular intervals. They stand just in front of the crowd and their job is to prevent fans from running onto the ground when the game is in progress. It may actually have been quite a good deal, if they didn't have to face the wrong way the whole time! For the entire game, these guys have to stand with their backs to the players and face the crowd. Can it get worse than that?

You're standing right next to the ground on which a match is progress that is being watched by thousands around you and millions around the world, and yet you can't see a single play! You're closer to the action, in a strictly geographical sense of the word, than any one else except the players, the referee, the linesmen and the coaches; and yet the most exciting thing you can hope to sight is an excited female supporter flashing one of the players.

Okay, maybe the flashing doesn't happen -- but I'm sure most of them wish it did!