Don't Worry, I'm Alive!

Epilog: I know an 'epilog' comes at the end and I'm not a fool. (Well not for this reason at least.) I wrote this part after writing the post. Okay? This post was written about a week ago, but I am only posting it now for reasons that should become clear after you read it.


Some of you may perhaps have noticed the lack of posts on this blog in the past few days. Those of you who don't really know me, may have attributed this to my final exams which have just ended. Those who actually do know me, know better than to believe in such nonsense. And they'd be right!

The actual reason why I haven't been able to post anything is because my computer's been acting up. It keeps restarting after random intervals of time -- normally ranging from about 15 to 30 seconds. Even with my super-quick typing abilities, this isn't quite enough to hack out a post-worthy post. (Unfortunately, most of that time is spent starting Windows or I might have been able to pull something off.) On the rare occasions -- namely two out of forty-three attempted -- that I did manage to get the computer running for more than a minute, I was swamped by the sheer volume of mails in my inbox and the new posts in my blog reader. (Okay, you got me. It was only the second thing -- no one likes me enough to mail me.)

Well, this time I decided to forget about checking my non-existent mail for a change and write something. I'm not sure how long it will be before my computer decides to play naughty again, so if this post suddenly ends in the middle of a sentence you know what might have happened.

A. I may have died. In which case, this post will attain unprecedented fame.
B. My computer stopped working again. In which case, it won't.

If you're interested in finding out which one of the above is true, you can always try calling me up. If I don't answer, you may safely conclude that I am busy kicking myself for having forgotten to press Ctrl-S since I started typing! In other words, Option B.

You may wonder why I haven't called up a technical help line for assistance. I can assure you it isn't because I feel I know more than the person at the other end of the phone. It's because I know I don't! A conversation with a technician (T) would normally go like this:

I: Well, you know my computer isn't working. It keeps restarting every 15 seconds.
T: Okay, maybe there's something loose somewhere. Why don't you try pressing your RAM chips in a little harder.
I: What do my RAM chips look like?
T: They're the little black rectangular chips on your motherboard.
I: Hey! Watch your tongue when you're speaking about my Mom!

I could always get a technician to come to my room and look at it or maybe take it down to their office. But from past experience I've realized that electronic gadgets with technicians are quite like kids with the doctor. The minute the healer arrives on the scene, the problem has magically disappeared. You've seen it happen, right?

You'll have a kid who's bawling his ass off claiming that everything in his body hurts. (It's mostly because he doesn't want to go to school.) But the minute you take him down to the friendly neighborhood doctor, he's suddenly fitter than Superman! It's the same thing with gadgets. They'll play all sorts of tricks with you. But you bring in a technician and suddenly that formerly recalcitrant microwave is working better than ever before. I believe they do this just to make you look stupid. It's the first step in the whole "machines taking over the world" thing. (They're not so smart though. The last time I brought in my old Uncle Willie dressed in a lab coat pretending to be a technician. Fooled my TV into working again!)

So there you have it. I'm in a bigger fix than I consider fun -- and I don't know what to do. I have no way out of it. So until my computer gets better, I'll leave you with today's useless piece of trivia: While writing this post, I restarted my computer 14 times. (I kid you not.)