Résumé Woes

I hate having to write a résumé. For me, it’s the worst part of the whole job hunting ritual. I can take all the written tests, interviews, group discussions or anything else they have to throw at me, but somehow the résumé always gets me down. And let’s face it -- if you can’t write a good résumé, you might as well forget about the rest.

I’ve always envied writers for this reason. For a writer, the résumé is a piece of cake! Just another day at the office, you might say. For him, the résumé ought to be the easiest part of the job hunt. Actually, I’m not even sure if there are any other phases in the selection of a writer. Look at it this way -- if you want to select a good writer, all you have to do is look at his résumé! If it’s well written, select the candidate! And who cares if it’s all lies and fabrication? Just throw him into the fiction section! Which begs the very significant question -- are fiction writers expected to lie as much as they can in their résumés?

However, I somehow feel writers won’t be very good at writing résumés. It’s part of a grander theory I like to call “God does not play Nice”! (Yes, Einstein got it wrong by one letter -- he never forgave himself for that.) I mean, you can’t have the job hunting process be as simple as the job itself. That just isn’t fair. Also, this would provide irrefutable proof of the fact that I’ll make a great writer someday, since I already struggle with my résumé. Some say I’m stupid, but I feel that’s just a derogatory word for “optimistic”.

I’m off to patch together a résumé now.