Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Fantasy? Thanks, but I'd Rather Be Eaten Alive By Gandalf!

I don’t like fantasy movies. Actually, I’m not too fond of movies at all. I don’t watch much TV at home, and so sitting myself in front of the screen for two hours while watching a movie isn’t my favorite activity. And of course it also involves managing to catch the movie at the start, the chances of which are too negligible for my liking. Thus, I rarely ever watch a movie at home.

What about movie halls? To be very frank, my bed offers a cheaper place to fall asleep. True, I may not get the comfort of air conditioning, but at least I don’t have to pay a hefty admission fee and then have pop-corn and other edible substances hurled at me in disgust by people who are disturbed by my snoring. Oh and yeah, I prefer to snooze in a supine position.

However, having said all this, there are some kinds of movies that I can bear - even enjoy at times. For example - comedy. Especially the silly teenage kind. Like the American Pie series or The Girl Next Door. I’m not too fond of animated movies like Shrek or Ice Age, but will condescend to putting up with them if I have a cute girl sitting next to me. Cries of “Oh! Isn’t Sid just the cutest!” will go unheard by me thanks to the earplugs in my ears.

Another genre that I like are the ones based on true stories. For example, Cinderella Man. Even though the movies Titanic (both of the ones that I saw) weren’t great at all, I sat through the entire thing purely since they were based on true stories. Okay, I confess Kate Winslet’s uninhibited shedding of clothing in the more recent one possibly had a small role to play, but since those clips are available everywhere I didn’t really have to catch the movie for them.

However, this allows us to move smoothly into the next category of movies that I like - pornographic ones. But since any movie enthusiast worth his salt won’t consider these to be movies any more than a tennis lover would consider a streaker at Wimbledon to be part of the game, we’ll just skip right past them.

For some reason I like to see the movie if I’ve already read the book. Hence I’ve seen most of the movies that have been made out of John Grisham novels. None of the movies come anywhere close to being as good as the books (no movie can anyway), but I still enjoyed them. A Beautiful Mind obviously scores high on my list by virtue of being both a true story and a book that I’ve read.

Now to get to the movies I hate - fantasy films! Okay movie freaks hold your breath - I hate (detest, dislike, loathe, abhor, have an aversion for, look askance at etc) the following movies:-

1) The Lord of the Rings (all three parts)
2) Star Wars (all six-too-many parts)
3) The Matrix (I hated the first, ‘reloaded’ my gun whenever anyone spoke about the second, and positively ‘revolted’ when the third came out)
4) Harry Potter (all how-many-ever movies)
5) The Lion King (or anything else that has crawled its way out of Walt Disney’s ass)
6) Star Trek (on both big screen and small)

This is list far from exhaustive! Almost as far as that ‘galaxy far away’, I might say so that fantasy freaks understand. All five of them, that is. On second thoughts - wait, I doubt they even have minds any more. Fantasy does that to you.


(Oooh, I see the light-sabers coming out (accompanied by that irritating sound that all fantasy freaks make while they draw their imaginary light-sabers). Mommy, I’m scared. I’ve antagonized five crazy freaks.)

20 comments:

KT said...

..|.

Thats for you.

I hate (detest, dislike, loathe, abhor, have an aversion for, look askance at etc) the following movies:-

Your opinion would count for something if actually saw those movies. You haven't seen any of the movies in that list.

And prepare to die. The light sabers will cut you apart soon.

ruhey said...

dude


1. You are not a movie guy.
OR
2. You are boring;p

but then itz never too late you can still start liking them...


hehe.

Arnold said...

KT - oho! there's one.. where the the other four ?? ;)

ruhey - yea.. i think it's option 1... wht say you?

Aditya Udas said...

Number 2 Reporting Sir!

ruhey said...

lol....
yea I'll pick the first option if you say so...
;p
TRY watchin LOTR...seriouslyy...
you are missin sumthin in life.
cheers.

Arnold said...

ruhey - hehe.. let's see !

Yashita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
konika said...

You've read John Grisham?!?!?!?!
I dropped DEAD from boredom during 'the chamber'...not one of his greatest but I can't stand the legal jargon...

konika said...

...and animated movies are hilarious, btw. watch lion king one and a half. =)

Arnold said...

yashita - i dont know anything about you, Sid and his dog.. i hope you three have a nice time together though..

as far as movies are concerned... it'll take a helluva lot more than just ur recommendation to drag me to an animated/sci-fi/fantasy movie any time soon...



konika - well, yea.. i like grisham (though i havent read the chamber)... sure there is a bit too much legal jargon (like there are a few too many laws in this world :P) ... but i like the way he writes.. it's a simple style actually.. once u remove the legal jargon

Anonymous said...

yashita, arnold has punched ya in thy face two times too many by now, what brings you here???!!!

_ð!®†ß¤¥ said...

Sid, Aboli and Leo.. a nice threesome.. Hmmm... can already imagine some of the limitless possibilities... Too bad for Leo though... havin to "spend time" with the other two..

As for movies, I would say Its totally ur call, wht u like wht u dont... Just a word, U ARE missing something. Some of these movies u dunt like, the DO have a good sttory, nice direction. But then again... as i sed... ur call



And Anon... Kaka, we know its you

Siddhu said...

Dude, I was about to say you have an awesome taste in movies! (i dont hate them as much as you do, but find it too much work to sit still for 2 hours and watch a movie without the promise of some 'action scenes' or 'matter scenes' as we call it down in Chennai), but then you said you like Grisham.

Grisham's trash, dude - read Jean Paul Sartre, or A.J. Cronin, or James Joyce. (They're admittedly much more boring than Grisham, but pseud value's wht counts, aye? ;) )

And about porn, how can you lightly skip over it? I think I've watched more pornos than I have normal movies - they're a genre that must be appreciated and savoured.

I'd blog about porn, and how I was caught with 15 pornos in my room when a teenager, but then I suspect my dad reads my blog - I don't want to remind him! :P

Siddhu said...

Oh and I forgot to mention it - you missed a whole goddamn genre - Gemman porn!

German porn is in a different league altogether. It almost gives Indian porn a run for its money. The only way to tell the girls apart from the guys is to, well... you know how.

Unless you're watching one of those really sick pornos, where presumably it would be impossible to tell the sexes apart! ;)

Yashita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Arnold said...

siddhu - reckon your dad doesnt read my comments?? they're pretty damn popular u know!

i'd read those other authors u recommended ... if i had the slightest idea whom they were..

and about porn? there's a whole post coming up wait...


yashita - so long (and thanks for all the fish)

Siddhu said...

Brrr... I'm sure he doesn't lol!

I think I'm sure he doesn't...

I hope he doesn't...

goddammit! X-(

KT said...

@yashita and that biyatch iit

I didnt make that anon comment. Why the hell are you people jumping to conclusions like that?

Anna said...

Ok...
Guess what's happening again and crowding up arnold's comment box?? You know.. its happened so many times, its stopped being funny...
Hmmm... About the post.. first off.. One of your nicer ones.. :-) this is what i was talking about you know when..
2, You havent watched even one of those movies you say you hate (detest, dislike, loathe, abhor, have an aversion for, look askance at etc). So you cannot judge them. You dont even know who nala and simba are! You havent even watched "The Sound of Music". And that is unforgivable. I know its boring.. but u have to watch it once at least to know!!!

@konika.. Watched lion king 1 and a 1/2... Its hilarious!!!
:-)

Arnold said...

anna - yea.. i know .. i hate what's happening too.. looks like it's stopped now though..

and about these movies.. maybe one day my kids will drag me to see them.. till them i'll just enjoy myself..