Friday, May 19, 2006

Me Not Gujarati, Me Goan!

Were I to die in my sleep tonight, it wouldn't really bother me much -- for I can safely say that I've now done it all. The latest feather in my cap was being mistaken for a gujju! (For those of you not familiar with the term “gujju”, look up “fat, oily, dishonest businessman” in the dictionary. Incidentally, the fact that they hail from Gujarat is merely coincidental. )

This afternoon I was standing in college talking to two friends, when two guys approached us. “Aap Gujarat ke log hain nah?”, they asked us. (“You are from Gujarat, aren't you?”)

“No.” We were too surprised to say much more.

Lekhin aap abhi Gujarati mein baat kar rahe the?”, they refused to let it go so easily. (“But you were just speaking in Gujarati?”)

“No!” We had been speaking in English -- not quite the Queen’s perhaps, but certainly not bad enough for it to be mistaken for a whole other language!

They then said that they wanted to know what we thought about the college since they were thinking of getting their ward admitted here. (Last time I checked two men couldn’t come together and bear offspring, so I assume one of them was an uncle or something!)

Never one to let pass an opportunity to relieve the college of at least one lucrative, fees-bearing student, I told them that the college was not worth getting admission into and that I would advise them to try elsewhere. “This place is way too strict,” I say. They thought I was kidding -- people tend to think that too often these days.

Then they left, shaking their heads. Off to seek a “true Gujarati opinion”, no doubt.

Why were they so keen on asking a “Gujarati”? And how deaf do you have to be for English to sound like Gujarati? Wonders will never cease.

12 comments:

_ð!®†ß¤¥ said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Grafxgurl said...

lol.. thats funny.. people cant place me at all.. so.. im left hanging.

hello:) dropped in through SWB's blog!!

Arnold said...

facesmasher - you may be right.. there seemed to be an evil glint in his eyes when i told him this place was too strict for my liking.. if anything, i may just have re-enforced his determination to get his son/daughter in

grafxgurl - where are you from actually? calcutta, if i rmbr right? anyways.. nice to see you here.. do keep visiting

"A" said...

rotfl x 3

cactusjump said...

deep empathy dude - i get 'mohammedan' (why they don't just say muslim i will never know), english, amreeki, afghani - u name it - even though i speak chaste hindi...the freaks are out there!

Arnold said...

cactusjump - that's a weird mixture you got there! wht are you really though?

_ð!®†ß¤¥ said...

Damn u bro.. U may as well have just signed that poor "gujju"(i assume) kid's death warrant. Rather, u sentenced him something worse than a 4yr long RI.. He'll b better off if he commits some crime n spends the same period languishing in some jail..

@cactus,seriously,pal. Weird combo.. What exactly are you? A lobster?

SwitchBlade said...

Yo atleast gujju is better than Mallu! I get that so often that im starting to doubt whether i was actually born in a Goan family or found in a Mallu garbage bin somewhere.
How cold you let them get away with calling you a Gujju?? You shoulda jhaaped the bleddy buggers men!

PS- Like a dog to its vomit, facesmasher has gone back to throwing crap at the college walls in public. Dude 10 days of running around like a mad man werent enough for you? Or do you want to meet the principal once again? Dont forget the power of Google!

_ð!®†ß¤¥ said...

Switch, you may be right there... So I guess i should re-phrase.. here goes...


U n Gujju?!!u serious?? I mean heck,any sensible moron can tell u r NOT a gujju from at least a dozen of metres away..Lol@incident dude.n nvr tell em its too strict.Some parents like that.better imprison my kid than let him study in a free environ.Seriously da,choosin that shithole was ma greatest mistake.N i take sole responsibility.None of me parents' fault.What a dump we spent the last 4years in!! *sigh*


There..

Arnold said...

switchblade - while i'm all for "jhaaping" and suchlike, i tend to think twice when faced with two bulky gujjus who are not likely to take kindly to an affront to the gujju culture...

facesmasher - yes.. i'm sure this won't get you into trouble..

Lakshmi said...

its so weird....i've been told i look like a proper tam brahm (which i am) but suddenly i'll get a random statement like "are u maaru....u look maaru".....how is that possible....and gujju's are alright.....i'm sure they all don't smell...:)

Arnold said...

lakshmi - "tam brahm"? lol! and been sniffing around a few gujjus lately? ;)