Just "Friends", Eh?
I refuse to believe in the existence of a purely platonic friendship between a guy and a girl. It just cannot exist. At least not from the guy's side. Unless he's totally and unequivocally gay!
If you're a girl reading this and going - "Aw, c'mon! You've got to be kidding me here! I've known Paul since we were both in diapers and I'm positive he doesn't think of me that way at all!"
Well, there are only two things I can say. Either you're bald with a hunchback and a broken nose; or HE'S GAY!!
The key point is that a friendship between a guy and a girl is viewed differently by both of them. The best way to put it would be as follows [I remember coming across this on someone's blog, but I don't remember whose] - the girl sees the guy as a 'friend' first and then as a 'guy', whereas the guy sees the girl as a 'girl' first and then as a 'friend'.
So, to a girl, a close male friend differs little from an equally close female friend. But to a guy these two things are quite different. This explains why guys are more willing to open up emotionally to a female friend than they are to a guy buddy.
Now, to get back to my main point - I'm NOT saying that every guy wants to sleep with every girl he knows. I'm just saying that he doesn't view her in a totally platonic way. There must necessarily exist a modicum of 'unplatonic-ness' from his side. Exactly how much of it is present is largely dependent on the situation and the people involved. But it is there.
Another point that I'd like to state is that I am not speaking solely for myself. What I am saying holds for all straight guys out there. Any guy who denies it, is just doing so because he is afraid to admit that it is true.
Whether or not the same feeling of unplatonicness is also present from the girl's side, is not something that I would be most qualified to comment on. I would expect it to be true of the girl too, but I wouldn't be surprised if it isn't. Girls are just different that way.
It's important to realize that there is nothing wrong in this. It's just the way guys are, and girls will just have to live with it.
Cheers!
19 comments:
man,look how fierce criticism can make a person more careful.looks like youve tried very hard to make your post as less offensive as possible to the opp sex.its ok man,you dont need to be on the defensive.
hey! i'm not on the defensive... tht's bcoz i never was on the offensive in the first place... i'm not a misogynist... it's just that whtever i wrote was misconstrued for MCP tripe... it's not my fault...
thank you ar-nOld for writing this...i keep tryin 2 convince my (girl) friends bout this n most wil give me this 'yea rite' sorta reaction...u kno d kind where they believe dat ive met al d wrong guys or then they feel (actually they KNOW) that im 2 hot 4 guys 2 not look at me dat way(heheh)! I so agree wid this...n lemme tel u most gals r sooo aware of this n yet act so bloody innocent...givin a guy major hints n sayin "cummon were jus frnds n frnds can go out 4 dinners n movies!!"Its like a cool excuse 2 b flirtin n pretendin u aint.
Mellowed down,you have....
for sure,that is.....
you've succumbed to criticism which wasn't even constructive Arnie my man... thats not a nice thing!!
lol...
Man I've got so many opinions about similar topics that i think im actually gonna put up a post on my own blog.Too much commenting would happen otherwise!!
Dude, you wussed out completely.
So much political correctness?
Is this Arnie running for Governor too?
hey being a gal i wudnt know whether what you say is true but i have no clue why but i really wish that it is!!! :)
dudes!! u guys dun understand.. i didnt wuss out.. n neither am i trying to be politically correct...!
it's just tht unlike a few of my recent posts this one was serious...
but wait.. some more "contraversial" posts can be expected...
hehe... nice to know tht females think the same way too, aboli... or at least some of them!
Good analysis, Dani. You've got Arnold cold.
Just loved the last line of ur blog ...
"It's just the way guys are ...and gurls will just have to live with it "
Heheee...how very true ...every other gurl says it too...lol..
I guess I'd change my opinion ...but that would take another few blogs !!!
In case your wondering how i got here .. Got ur link from Saurabh's blog ...
Ciao , Jomy
hey sid, if there's one thing subroto roy told me the last time we had dinner, it's - "market ya ass off!!"
well, it is... anyone want to buy it?
ravi - i dont know and i dont care.
It sounds like English; it even looks like English, but I can't understand a word you're blabbering. Your ineffective imitation of good posting style only serves to illuminate your lack of substance, good taste, and decency.
When I want your monkey-brained opinion I'll rattle your cage, okay? You wouldn't know a clue if it walked up to you, bit you on the ass, and announced 'I AM A CLUE'. Reading your post makes blindness a wonderful thing to look forward to. I suggest you need Mark Twain's advice; "It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."
What possessed you to think that you were capable of being entertaining or interesting to read? There's nothing wrong with you that couldn't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet, or, better yet, suicide. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if you weren't intellectually outclassed by dead sheep; if your weren't so fat that when you stand on the weighing scale, it reads: "To be continued!", or if you weren't so ugly that even the tide wouldn't take you out. Nah, of course you would.
You're a message board freak. I know it's hard to accept the truth, but the truth it is, and accept it, you must.
Disclaimer:--- I'm the latest anonymous with no relation to the previous ones...+ know ya, so will tell ya who I'm the next time we meet .btw, chk out www.insultmonger.com hehe..mebbe ur prev anons got some inspiration from that place like me :-). Just wanted to give you an initial shock when you started reading, & needless to say, was kidding
well, let's just say i can do without the shocks... or the mental calisthenics of having to figure out whom yet another anonymous commenter is... so WHO ARE YOU?
p.s some of the insults *were* rather funny!
anand
hey...dont think u know me...
a couple of my friends introduced me to ur blog...
and well what u wrote was so true...and someting to which i wud absolutely agree...i had to post a comment
basing my conclusions on my past experiences and having a good insight into the very being of girls....i definitely can say that a truely platonic relationship is kinda not possible...and thats just not from the guys side but from the girls as well...its a different thing that they just wont accept it for a reason which is still kinda unknown to me...(alrite this statement makes me feel a little out of place though..hehe..)
as u said a guy is friend for them first and then a guy....well true....but then they are always aware that its a guy....
No comment. :) AB
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