D-A-N-I

DISCLAIMER: I cannot vouch for the veracity of anything in this post except that there exists a bloke named Siddharth Dani.

My longevous and inopportune hiatus from the blog world has certainly been anything but a dull and boring time for me in real life. Adventures have been arriving in plentiful abundance; and a good deal of them have featured one particular individual. A 'Machiavellian blighter', if you may, who could certainly rival the inaptly named Gandhi who features quite regularly on this blog!

His name is Siddharth Dani - and I feel like I owe him at least one blog post after all the cheer and merriment he has unselfishly [and more often than not - unintentionally] brought into our otherwise lackluster and mundane lives.

Dani [as us fortunate few get to call him] resembles Uncle Fester [of The Adams' Family fame] in appearance and Jon Arbuckle [think Garfield] in action.

Dani has exactly 5 stages in his relationship with any girl -

1. He loves her
2. He asks her out
3. She turns him down
4. He claims he was never interested in her in the first place
5. We pull his leg about it!

When it comes to things that he loves [at last count there were 3 of them - girls, motorsport and food!], few people can effuse more enthusiasm than Dani. I called him up a few minutes ago to ask him whether he wanted to come out.

"Can't," he says. "There's an F1 race on right now. This is just too exciting! It's absolutely awesome! I can't believe this!"

Now I'm anything but an F1 fan and the only thing that might excite me in a race [other than a streaker, of course] is a major pile-up involving as many cars as possible. Seeing Dani's febrile lyricism I, not unnaturally, assumed one of the above had occurred. So I asked him, "What happened? Crash?"

"No. The race hasn't even started as yet."

He had apparently worked himself up into a state of feverish ecstasy even before the actual race had started! I can't imagine how excited he'd get if Alonso were to overtake Raikkonen on the final corner or something like that!

The other topic of interest for Dani is girls. His success ratio in this field tends toward the negative though not through the lack of effort. For when it comes to ensnaring innocent young maidens Dani's mind hath no rival. Medieval noblemen would regale their dinner guests with tales of Dani's attempt to woo a particular damsel - and the fiasco that would most certainly have followed.

Let me offer the following as an example -


Inspite of his complete lack of success with the fairer sex - and probably the reason for it - Dani has one of the finest tastes when it comes to picking them. His eyes scan the crop with the keenness of a hawk selecting none but the finest as likely candidates to bear his progeny. About 4 months ago, he had his eyes set on a particularly lissome lass from our college named Siddhi. Siddhi happened to be in her freshman[woman?] year at the time and some three years junior to him.


Scene:

Drawing Hall 1. Siddhi is inside completing one of her sheets. The scheming Dani and even more scheming me are outside deliberating upon what action should be taken.

Me: Why don't you go inside and talk to her? Just make sure you don't ask her out.
Dani: Sounds like a good idea. But do you really think I should go?
Me: Sure sure. Just don't do anything to scare her off.

He disappears into the hall and reappears a minute later looking rather sullen. It didn't require all of my super-genius mental faculty to decipher that all wasn't right.

I asked him what had transpired inside. Here's what I was able to piece together from what he told me.

Dani: Hi.
Siddhi: Hi.
Dani: Graphics, huh? Submissions on? Need any help with that?
Siddhi: No.
Dani: I find you very interesting. Would you like to spend more time together?
Siddhi: No.

When you consider the fact that she had her drafter and compass within close reach, it is indeed a small miracle that he escaped out of there unscathed.

Dani, on the other hand was unable to comprehend how the lethal combination of his dashing good looks, his cavalier approach and the fact that the first five letters of their names match, weren't enough to charm the whiskers off her.



All said and done though, Dani's quite a guy. A cheerful easygoing bloke, a dependable chap and a good sport. One of those fun guys whom you would always want around. Cheers mate!

Next week - Salil!