Wait...Errr!!

Indian waiters are an interesting species. They’re quite different from their brethren in other countries, almost a distinct race by themselves in fact. And they never fail to delight, amuse, irk and sometimes downright infuriate me!

The most vexatious habitude of Indian waiters, according to me, is their alacrity to serve you. No, I don’t mean ‘serve’ in the broad sense. I mean ‘serve’ as in ‘actually place the food in your plate’. Indian meals normally consist of several preparations that are brought to the table in metal bowls, or some other similar kind of receptacles. Each diner can then help his or herself to whatever he or she pleases from these bowls. Thus the waiter’s task should ordinarily consist of placing each person’s plate in front of him or her and placing all the dishes at the center of the table. But no! No Indian waiter will ever be satisfied with doing just that! Instead of placing the dishes on the table, he will go around the table, fastidiously placing a serving of each dish on each diner’s plate. Why?


Two years ago, a group of friends and I were having lunch at a restaurant called Radhakrishna, just outside IIT, Powai in Bombay. Our waiter was a curious individual, with mnemonic powers that would make a goldfish look like the Rain Man. He could never remember more than two items or pieces of information at a time, and even those two were doubtful. At one point toward the end of the meal, we summoned him and asked him to bring us some more rotis (unleavened bread) and a bowl of vegetable curry. He looked a bit confused, and it took about 5 minutes of hammering that in before we were somewhat convinced that he might just possibly manage to remember it properly.

“So can you please repeat the order,” I request him.

“Yes Sir. Four rotis and vegetable curry.”

Just then one of the bright souls sitting across the table from me piped up, “And could you please get me another spoon as well?”

That did it! I could almost visualize the sparks going off in his brain as it began to overload and heat up! I smacked my forehead in disgust. He was back five minutes later with the spoon. He’d completely forgotten about the other two items. (I was surprised he could even remember our table!)


Waitresses in India are conspicuous by their absence. Forget about the miniskirt donning, busty, pleasant-on-the-eye types, I have yet to come across even a single waitress in the country. India, the country where for centuries the woman has been confined to a role that included little more than cooking for and serving her husband, has surprisingly few female chefs and absolutely no waitresses.

Do any of you readers have any ideas on why this might be so? I’m all ears.