Sunday, July 20, 2008

Blind Dates

I don’t really understand the concept of the “blind date”. I mean you obviously know that the other person has got to be some sort of loser. Just the very fact that they’ve got to resort to the blind date means that they’re not very ‘dateable’. Whom are you expecting? Alicia Silverstone? How desperate do you have to be to say, “Okay, that’s it. I don’t care what you’ve got, I’ll take it.”

Girls, for some reason, love setting people up. Guys don’t. Guys classify all (single) girls they know into four broad categories. There’s the “not dateable”, the “I’ve already dated”, the “I’m currently dating”, and the “I would like to date sometime in the future”. It’s easy to see why a guy wouldn’t want to set any of their friends up with someone from one of the above categories. Girls, on the other hand, just love the concept of fixing someone up. I think girls have only two real motives in life – first to get themselves fixed up and then to fix up everyone else they know. Because it’s never the single girls who are fixing you up, it’s always the girls who are already going out with someone. When they were single, they would never have considered dating you. But now that they’re not, they suddenly seem to think you’re the most eligible bachelor in town – for their friends!

I’ve lost track of the number of times a girl has said to me, “Oh, you’re single right? You should meet my friend X.” It’s like they’re getting money out of it. And X has always got “a great personality”, that’s the other thing. Just once, I’d like to be set up with someone who’s got no personality but looks like a supermodel. Yeah, set me up with a Playmate who’s got the personality of Attila the Hun. That would do just fine, thank you very much.

That’s why I don’t understand arranged marriages either. Because that’s like the biggest blind date of your life. You haven’t met her, you haven’t seen her, you know nothing about her other than the fact that she’s got a great personality.

How utterly desperate have you to be to settle for that?


Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

I got this explanation from a woman some years ago-
"Women see guys in two categories-good guys and bad guys. The bad guys are the ones that women find attractive because there is so much they want to change in them. The good guys on the other hand, are seen as potential best friends and unless they carry a four leaf clover all the time, do not get lucky. Hence, women always want to set up their best friends with other sweet women to try and help them out. So if a woman is trying to set you up with someone it's because she thinks you are a good guy..."

Personally, i think it's just a euphemism to catgorically classifying you as a loser when they use the term 'best friend.'

And yes, 'a playboy bunny with her beach blonde hair' would work for me too...

Arunima said...

I will stop fixing up my friends. :-)

Eveline said...

I don't get it either. My friends always set me up with some guy who they secretly want to go out with but can't cos they're already in relationships.

Interesting blog you got here and.. i'm just getting started...

Arnold said...

@mulling over my thoughts: Makes sense. Bad shit though. Since so many girls are trying to set me up. Arggh! Worst nightmare -- I'm a nice guy?

@arunima: The question, I believe, really is - "Are you single?" Because single girls don't do "setting" anyway!

@eveline: Thanks. And stay tuned. Plus plenty of stuff in the archives. If you can sift through the nonsense, that is!

Atul Karmarkar said...

In the Indian context, the last line could also read as "How utterly desperate do your parents have to be to settle for that?" :)

void said...

There's a new euphemism for 'great personality'. It's 'sweet'. Seen Family Guy? So if someone's setting you up, and she happens to mention the girl's 'sweet', run like hell.

Oh, btw, hello, and funny blog, man.