Elevator People I Hate

Laziness is omnipresent, and in ubiquitous quantities. I think one the most evident proofs of the inherent nature of human laziness is the number of people who use an elevator to travel a single floor. Personally, I think this is nothing short of criminal. I’d like to propose a law that makes this a punishable offence. And double the sentence if the person is traveling down instead of up!

Okay, I can understand if you’re like 80 years old or missing a foot or something like that. But I CANNOT understand why an able-bodied young person would insist on taking the elevator to travel a single floor. Or even two floors. Learn to climb, people. Learn to climb!

You might wonder why I would rant about someone else’s laziness. It’s simple really. Their laziness is costing other people time. For example, assuming that the elevator wasn’t supposed to stop at either of the floors that our lazy friend gets in and out at, then we’ve made two extra stops for him. That’s a good few seconds wasted there. Multiply that into the number of people in the elevator and you’ve basically just managed to waste a few collective minutes. More than the actual amount of time wasted though, it’s the sheer annoyance of making unnecessary stops that gets my goat. There’s little that I cherish more than an uninterrupted elevator ride.

What makes the issue even more absurd is that most of the time taking the stairs is actually faster when it comes to traveling only a couple of floors! So you’re not only wasting my time, you’re wasting your own! (Not that I really care about you, you lazy obese imbecile!)

I swear, the next time at work someone rides the elevator I’m in for just a single floor, I’m sawing his head off! And then hanging it on the elevator wall as a reminder to others! Pah!