Sunday, April 23, 2006

No Two Weighs About It...

Ever notice the way a female reacts about another female who’s thinner than she is? Normally with a bit of scorn and derision.

“Ooh, look at her. She’s as skinny as a rake!”
“Geez, if she swallowed a pea her tummy would swell up!”

Well, they try to hide it, but that’s actually jealousy. Deep down every woman is inherently jealous of any other woman who’s slimmer than herself. She may pretend like she doesn’t care, and that she’s much happier with her “well rounded” figure and stuff like that - but she does care! A woman thinks about her weight as much as a man thinks about sex. (And that’s a lot!) There’s nothing a woman is more self-conscious about than her weight! Nothing!

So she obsesses herself with trying to reduce her weight, which through some quirk of nature is always “five pounds too much”! It’s like the jar of never-ending oil in the Bible. After those five pounds are shed, she finds that she’s still five pounds to heavy. So she slims down even further. Eventually attaining the physique of a severely malnourished stick insect.

The weirdest part of this entire drama is that guys aren’t particularly attracted to skinny females. Speaking for myself, and most of the male community, we like girls who are full and curvy. So here we have all these females starving themselves just so that they can incite the jealousy of of the rest of the (plumper) female community (who are getting all the guys)! Makes no sense? Nothing does.

27 comments:

_dirtboy said...

Well said, Brother!! Who wants those skinny skanks???
And believe me or not, a female HAS confessed to me(albeit, privately; so I guess you can guess who she is) about their "insecurity" over the smallest matters... Even the shade of the nail-polish, or the eye-gloss!! And you thot weight was a serious issue!

FifthBeatle said...

facesmasher - well, in all fairness the female you are talking about DID have something to be "size conscious" about! :P
(guess you know what i'm talking about)

teacup said...
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AWY said...

Lol @ "eye-gloss" !!!
Really! eye gloss ???
Yes, Abhinav, I'd like one too... :-)

Arnold -
Swallowing a pea would make her tummy swell up??? where did you get that one?

As for jealousy and weightloss... well.. i should think you are mistaken when you say that every female is jealous of those thinner than her. There are lots who are confident enough of their curves... lol..
Anyway this post of your has given me an excellent idea for a post...
Thanks!

_dirtboy said...

Arnold: Yeaaah.. I know wht you mean. Twas disproportationately out of proportion, considering her build!! It still IS!! :(

@Y: it's u men who judge women on how ahem their backside is, among other things!..
Use the right word Y... Its Ass.. Dunt forget where u r commenting, ITS kinda mandatory to use these terms... Backside, she says.... ROFL!!!!:p
And WE DO LIKE em plump n curvy.. MMMMMMMMmmmmmm.....
*runs away*

@Y&Anna: YIKES!!! I have absolutely NO IDEA wht tht "eye-gloss" thing means?? How in the friggin hell m I supposed to know??? I just repeated what I was told almost a year and a half-ago.. Plus the only "cosmetic" products I am aware of, are face-wash creams and hair-gel and sunscreen lotions :D

@Aboli: PLEASE CONTINUE CALLING ME ABHINAV, Miss AbS!! Guess you get the point...

teacup said...
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teacup said...
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teacup said...
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FifthBeatle said...

yashita - No! We don't like overly thin females! Paris Hilton is just about on the borderline... But then Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba are so much better!

and of course guys are conscious about stuff too... but not about their weight.. at least not as much as girls.. if you want to write about wht we're conscious of then please go ahead..

anna - i made that line up... and god bless those females.. they're the lucky ones! ;)

_dirtboy said...

@Y: Yea, w/e... who cares.. I for one dunt giv a damn to the gloss!!
And better stick to my blogger id, unless of course u want me to use ur really sweet real-life name, hun.
BTW, is Lip gloss the thing tht tastes of various flavors wen kissin?

FateGlimpse said...

u seem to have devoted urself to a lifetime of studying females. but true,weight is a huge issue. guys wouldn't even spend even half the time females waste on worrying about weight.

FifthBeatle said...

fateglimpse - ah! and an interesting life mission that is, indeed! never fails to keep popping up new surprises..

teacup said...
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AWY said...

Arnold! I had no idea that this was a forum for cosmetic products advertising!
Why didnt you tell me earlier?
:-)

_dirtboy said...

Aboli(told ya, but you had to): *yells from the corner where he's hiding* Ummmm... zounds tasty... How abt lettin me chk ur fav flavor???


Arnold: Yea dude... Gotta agree wit anna... Y advert em?? They r as it is the market-drivers... Lets just get back to the business of ahem... ahem.. (u know wht).. And for once arnie, I did prove you rite.. as to how i use this section... But i assure u, tis the first n the last time..

FifthBeatle said...

yashita - yea.. you read it on my blog.. and it's not a very unobvious line to come up with.. so something similar's prolly around elsewhere too..

anna - i'm not the one advertising anything.. u guys have started it!

facesmasher - flirt if thou must, but flirt like a man!

teacup said...
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_dirtboy said...

Aboli: Nope... Its still the stinky, sweaty, smelly summer here, in pune!!!

Lindsey said...

Come on now...we can't help it. :o(

but you're absolutely right. The reason we do it is b/c of our own insecurities...

FifthBeatle said...

linny - ah! finally someone who agrees with me, without jumping on my head for being all "ever noticed this" about woman....

FifthBeatle said...

lakshmi - oh! cmon! u have to be kidding me! paris hilton over queen latifah any day... queen latifah isn't good looking at all!! she's just ugly.. and when we say we like curves, we mean just the right amount.. oh course we dont like fat women!! tht's so obvious!

Anonymous said...

lol it's so true!! but it rly doesn't make sense...why do ppl starve themselves...or eat like "sparrows on a diet"?!?!?! food is just too good. as for me... everybody knows how much i weigh, n i dun rly care... proud to be a whale ;)

FifthBeatle said...

lara - psst! u know you're not overweight!! why do u girls not understand?!? ARRGH!

AWY said...

"queen latifah is just ugly"

And there you have the reason why most girls push themselves over the edge trying to not be 'ugly'. if guys like u would just somehow get a brain in their heads... (we will all be praying for such a miracle to happen... you should too...)
maybe girls like us wouldn't mind having a few curves and not worry about whether they are in the right places and just the right amount..
sheesh!

FifthBeatle said...

anna - wht has brains got to do with this?? if she's not good looking, then she's not good looking... anyone with sight can see that! how many girls do you know who go gaga over ugly guys?? do you?

FifthBeatle said...

lakshmi - yes, i would date PH over QL... it's simple.. PH just looks a lot better!

Anonymous said...

Funny post, except the part that says men want women who are "full and curvy."

HELL NO! I like my girls very very thin. Model thin. There's something about super thin women that's classy and sexy and makes my monkey jump like there's no tomorrow.