Thursday, March 23, 2006

How Stupid Are Vegetarians?

India probably has more vegetarians than any other country. Far more.

India’s obsession with vegetarianism is evident everywhere. There are restaurants which advertise themselves as “Pure Veg”, Jains who cover their mouths with scarves lest they involuntarily swallow an insect and Hindu Brahmins who refuse to eat from a kitchen that is also being used to prepare meat dishes.

Another place where this fascination for vegetarianism evidences itself is in the Government regulation that all food products that are manufactured, sold or advertised in this country must indicate whether they consist only of vegetarian products or not. This is done by means of a small colored circle enclosed inside a square on the product or advertisement. A green circle and square indicates that the product is vegetarian and a red circle indicates that it isn’t.

Now this is all very well for products which may lead to some sort of confusion. For example, an oil may have vegetable or animal origin. For such products I can understand the need for a color clarification. Surely, you wouldn’t want a chaste Brahmin incurring the wrath of the Gods for having consumed a product that had an animal based ingredient in it! But the other day, I came across an advertisement for Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). The billboard had a picture containing a few juicy chicken drumsticks. And of course, in the corner sitting quietly was the customary red circle inside a red square!

Talk about superfluous! An advertisement for chicken has to specifically announce to the world that it is not vegetarian? Do they believe vegetarians are stupid enough the order chicken by mistake?


Dumb Vegetarian: Ah yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken! This sounds like a nice place to stop for a meal! Could I see the menu please?

Waiter: All we have, sir, is fried chicken.

Dumb Vegetarian: Would that by any chance be vegetarian?

Waiter: Yes sir! It’s fried in pure vegetable oil by a Brahmin priest and the chicken ate nothing but grain all its life!

Dumb Vegetarian: Well then, I’ll have a bucket please. But wait a minute! What do we have here? A red circle? You lying scoundrel! This isn’t vegetarian! (Fervently mutters prayers to a few deities.)


You see the point? If there wasn’t the red circle, a lot of vegetarians might get fooled into believing that chicken is indeed a vegetarian food!

60 comments:

Varun said...

never had vegetarian chicken dude???? you need to visit more dhabas ;-)

nina said...

lol...btw whats with ur blog name? very suggestive!u tryin to be? ;)

Arnold said...

varun - dude, isnt the consulate too a "government" office?? unless u meant to say "far more than any Indian Government" office...

nina - are u saying tht if someone wants to visit the US consulate in bbay, they're supposed to arrive with *only* their clothes on them??

Freaky Chakra said...

A mantra to be recited thrice for every obsessive vegetarian u meet -

"For every animal you dont eat... I'll eat three"
*(copyrights - Maddox, the Pirate)

Anna said...

Uhm... BEDROOM TRAVELLER???
Wondering why...
hmmm...
As for vegetarians and vegetarianism... just ask nina whether she's a veggie... lol..

and i am back... only for a while, though..
*sigh..
sneaky someones rule my life...

Yashita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Arnold said...

freaky chakra - amen to tht!! :D

anna - wht are u wondering exactly??

nina - are you a vegetarian? if you are - please read freaky chakra's comment

yashita - please do not refrain urself... we wud love to hear the comments u cud come up with...

the billboard had HUGE pictures of chicken drumsticks.. no one has to be able to read english to understand tht...

Varun said...

yeah i meant its worse than most indian government offices(although i havent been to that many) but yeah the firangs there have a unique way of pissing you off with their, at times, appalling stupidity and lack of common sense. :-P

Lakshmi said...

ummm.....we are not dumb...and we do not mutter to deities!!

nina said...

ok c its complicated...i am a veg when i am in chennai n when i go out of station i gorge on nv....that way i eat healthy 10 out of 12 months...besides i dont particularly like most of the nv my mom makes so it gives me a good excuse not to eat the stuff i dont like, like fish...but then i dont get to eat the yummy stuff like fried chicken also...oh well...which is why ever meal when i go out station is nv...very confusin i know but its my logic...
n freaky charkra...ur more than welcome to all the animals i dont eat...esp goats...unless its in yummy mutton biryani...

ruhey said...

i m a veggie...
friends of mine have been tricked into eating pigeons, crows, etc etc...wanna know the heights of non vegeterianism...there is no milk available in Nigeria, only milk powder cuz they eat up all the cows...really..lol
neway...i agree wid that KFC advert..itz too stoooopid

Arnold said...

varun - will be going to the consulate soon.. let's see for myself..

lakshmi - never said you do ;)

nina - yea, anna kinda already told me tht already... sounds like quite weird logic to me.. but hey! it's your call..

ruhey - didn't know tht about nigeria... HOW do people get tricked into eating meat??!

Varun said...

why are you going to the consulate? planning a trip to the land of oppurtunity and puerto rican immigrants??

Arnold said...

yeah, i am... need to take in some yankee air... but i'm not sure when exactly as of now..

_ð!®†ß¤¥ said...

No comments... Except tht someone made Urvish eat an omelette.. an Egg one(dint kno tht ther's a veggie kind of omelette too, til like last week). And beliv me, he dint realize til his 4th bite tht twas non-veggie. So i DARE GUESS, tht the CIRCLES DO PLAY A BIG PART.
Plus I always got an opinion tht veggie ppl ARE total RETARDS.. they dont get enuf proteins fer their brains(Dont lynch me, u medical students, I'm juss a comp sci guy).

And hey, hey, hey!! Bedroom Traveller... Hmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! Is it a TSP kinda thingey??

_ð!®†ß¤¥ said...

@last post of urs...

Cant do tht dude.. I'm hopin to keep him pleased till i can lay ma hands on his powerbook.. Its a mean machine and i dont wanna lose my shot at it, which is quite likely in the scenario u described, esp considerin tht its u.. ;)

SwitchBlade said...

Seems like everyone is out to ruffle feathers...
Strange but that too makes me feel like eating chicken ;)

Arnie dont you think you should add an extra 'l' in traveler?

PS - What kinda retarded place is pune where you cant get decent ice-cream? And by decent i mean ice-cream that is prepared WITH eggs...the way its meant to be.
I truly believe that egg-free ice cream is not ice-cream at all....its just a sorry excuse like the flavoured water 'pepsi' that we used to love as kids.

Freaky Chakra said...

@nina:
my animal count...
chicken, goats, sheep, cows, fish, squids, crabs, oh and of course... pigs! :)

When I say I'll eat three... i mean it :)

Arnold said...

facesmasher - it's funny that a comment that starts with "no comments" should be so long! i have my theory on how vegetarians get to be so stupid, but perhaps some other time, ok?

dude, i wont ruin ur "powerbook" chances... pleeeaasseee lemme go!


switchblade - isn't "traveler" spelled "traveler"?? hmm.. i thought it was.. will check it up...

and yeah, it's 3.30 in the morning... my throat is dry and parched with the heat.. thanks for mentioning "ice cream" :( :(



freak chakra - GO FC GO!! i think suggest a few more animals, in case u're interested ;)

the wannabe indian punkster said...

ahhhh Im late....but what the heck.....
Bedroom traveller? Bedroom traveller?
hee......heee....*conjures up several images in mind*.....

Arnold said...

megha - i don't get it... :S .. all of you guys seem to be conjuring up images after reading the new name on my blog.. but wht images??? *look of innocent confusion*

nina said...

@freaky chakra: squid....ewww...never eaten it coz the though of eatin it just puts me off...never had caviar for that reason too...
@arnold: what other bad things has anna been tellin u huh?

Arnold said...

nina - hey! you should try squid!! it's quite good really.. especially when they put this masala like thing in it... top notch!

wht other things has anna been telling me?? lol... *sly wink*..
.
.
.

oh! and in case u didnt catch tht the first time... *sly wink*!

Lakshmi said...

what other things have anna been telling nina....i really don't know the answer to that it's nothing you wanna know...........believe me....

nina said...

@arnold: innocent my ass....n the sly wink has me all worried!!!i may have to kill anna if u dont tell me...
@lakshmi: what anna has been tellin arnold bout me u silly!!!

Arnold said...

nina - hmmm... this seems to be going both ways, huh?? wht stories have you been getting from her about me that i 'dont want to know about'??

lakshmi - if u dont know what the she's telling her, then how do u know i dont want to know about them?

ishita said...

omg...and i thot what i had for dinner wz enuff...this whole post and d comments left me feelin hungry all over again...!!!

been long enuff widout chicken:(..

red and green...hmmm...never really paid much attention to that...but then i guess vegetarians need to luk out fr it (wat did they do before these symbols existed???)...

and squid is yum...octopus...yum...

ohh that reminds thre is sum ham in d freezer...m outta here!!!

Arnold said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Arnold said...

ishita - forget about my post, this comment has made me feel hungry again!! damn!

and unlike someone i know, my freezer doesnt hv any ham in it :(

Lakshmi said...

i just do....cos what she's telling her is probably what she's telling me(first)....lol...and yes, you did say i was dumb....cos you implied vegetarians and brahmins are dumb....and i'm both...so there!

Arnold said...

lakshmi - oh shoot! lol... have i have ruffled some more feathers by my writing now?? people have to learn to stop taking wht i write seriously...

now wht was she telling you, again?

Lakshmi said...

hmmm.....can't say much...just that you listen to music (she doesn't, so she wanted me to check if what you liked was good...i'm quite the music expert..lol)

ambi said...

my heads been turned inside out, my eyes have been sucked into my brain and come out of my navel. ref hitchhiker's guide.32 comments?why do u get so much bhaav.and for all those who r wondrin, a bedroom traveller is sum1 who keeps packing up his pillows and blankets and shiftin bedrooms cuz he has committment issues.jeez!

Arnold said...

lakshmi - so how did my taste in music turn out? did it match up to ur high standards, oh expert?? lol

ambi - how many headS do u have?? and i didn't know ur brain was anywhere near your stomach... :S (or is ur navel in ur head?)

besides, that's just ur interpretation of wht bedroom traveler means... i beg to differ...

Anna said...

ok. enough is enough.
thats just enough abt my conversations with lakshmi... i wud appreciate it if you, arnold, declared the subject closed...

Arnold said...

anna - "closed"?? aww, damn! just as it was getting to be fun... is there something you dun want me know there? ;)

nina said...

of course arnold...dont b dense...there is shit loads of stuff anna does NOT want u to know!!!!hahahaha

Arnold said...

nina - perhaps i was thrown off by the mention of my name... *rolls eyes*

Lakshmi said...

yes yes...your taste in music is extremely commendable and does match up to my extremely high standards....but what was john mayer doing in the same list with all those legends? i guess 'clarity' is ok...but sometime he just bugs me....do u like oasis and the verve? if you do...then i can definitely say that you truly have good taste in music....

Arnold said...

lakshmi - yea.. u're prolly right.. maybe mayer ought to get out of here.. i need to edit tht profile in any case.. will do it then..

Anna said...

arrrgggh!!! didnt i just say stop ???
:(
*shakes head...

nina said...

oh anna....its too late now to stop what u have put in motion...(motion as in movement...lol)

nina said...

trully commendable that u reach lak's high standards in mmusic!!!congrats....

Arnold said...

anna - i think it's over now... my music hath stoodeth the test! !!

nina - i kinda look at it the other way around.. *her* music has stood up to *my* high standards... ;)

nina said...

right....except i dont think it can go higher thatn lak...n besides lak is not the one who is under the microscope!!!lol

Arnold said...

nina - you people sure seem to have a LOT of respect for her music!

... and i feel like an amoeba right now!

nina said...

oh...dont...its not THAT bad...lol...it could have been much much worse...oh well...lak is a music n movie expert...nothin but the best for her...now me....i will watch just bout anything.....have u ever seen 'gods ust be crazy'?i love it....she cant stand it!!!lol...

Arnold said...

nina - i'm afraid when it comes to movies i rate even lower than the amoeba! ;)

music i'm good at... not movies.. :(

nina said...

oh no...what ever are we goin to do with u arnold???all hope is lost!!!!
if u can watch gods must be crazy n tell me what u think of it....lol....

Arnold said...

nina - sure... now tht i've got some free time on my hands, maybe i could... btw, do you use GTalk? perhaps tht wud offer a less painful expedient of going about this.... ?

nina said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Arnold said...

nina - um.. ok

add - check
delete - check

Lakshmi said...

excuse me...u guys have been discussing me and didn't even bother to tell me!! oh and thank u nina for sticking up for me! i am a big movie/music snob....give me stuff like Jessica Simpson or 'Be cool' and you could probably hear my sniff of disapproval from all the way over there... :)

Arnold said...

lakshmi - i've never even heard of "be cool"... and i think i'm proud of the fact :) !

Lakshmi said...

oh...be glad u haven't heard of it....its the sequel of 'get shorty' u know.....

Arnold said...

lakshmi - ... which wud be?? :S... ok i'm guessing i dont want to know.. ;)

Lakshmi said...

u haven't?? i am shocked!! john travolta..danny devito ring a bell?

Arnold said...

lakshmi - those two do.. the movie.. hmm not quite :(

nina said...

hey hey...it was funny....

Arnold said...

nina - wht was so funny exactly?