Monday, September 01, 2008

Girls and Ordering Food

There are, to be precise, three kinds of girls in this world when it comes to classification based on their food ordering styles.

There are those girls who will order a dish, take two bites and a nibble and then push it away. The reason given is either “I’m too full! How was I supposed to know they served this much?” or “Eww, this doesn’t taste like what I thought it did at all!” Apparently, in the bizarre world that women come from, servings are two forkfuls—three if you order the jumbo-size—and you’re allowed to call for a sample taste of the dish before ordering it. Of course, it’s not surprising then that they consider the enter restaurant industry on this planet an injustice to the customer!

The second type of girls are those who will not order anything at all—and then proceed to polish off half of your food! And the casual shamelessness that they will do it with! Like it was ordered and brought there especially for them, sent with love from the cook with flowers all around and their name on a nice little card on the top! Her eyes fixed right into yours as if you’re stupid enough to get mesmerized by that and not notice that thieving little hand slide across the table and right into your fries!

Now, I harbor a slight dislike for the first kind and can just about tolerate the second kind, but the third kind I could just shoot dead there at the table itself. Those are the girls that both leave their food almost untouched and attack yours! This must surely rank as at least as grave a sin as any mentioned in the Bible. I don’t care what you do the remainder of your life, if you’re the kind of girl who fits into the third category, you’re going to hell. Period.

I’m sure there’s an exception out there somewhere—a girl who is actually capable of ordering what she wants and nothing more or less than that. And if I find her, I’ll marry her.


Nef said...

I can't think of anything less than ordering a three courses menu in a restaurant and eat every last bit of it.
But sorry, I'm already married, wanna meet my sisters ?

Kunal said...

You don't like chicks who order and eat just a little bit? Let me introduce you to the four best words in the English language, friend: "Are you eating that?"

Salil said...

Next time, try the buffet.

Eveline said...

Ha! Good luck with that. Most ppl want what's on your plate. I've got to deal with it everyday. Honestly, I just hate people who touch my food. If they want what I'm eating then they should just order a plate for themselves.

Bikram Snehi said...

dude, i love the kind that order much and eat little!
i order lesser and then proceed to stomach their leftovers!
but yeah, if i find the girl who orders only as much as she eats, i will marry her!

Anna said...

Well.. I never eat from other people's plates unless they're wasting and then i get pissed off and that I always ALWAYS finish my food.. I told you we should get married.

confuzd jughead said...

hmmm...ur food n gurl issues!!!!interesting..dunno why but u remind me a lot of 'joey' from friends..especially the third category reminded me of him...neways good luck in getting urself the girl who knows not only what to order but also eat it ;)

Arnold said...

@nef - You're back! And sure, why not!
@kunal, bikram - Dudes, I order precisely. No space to eat anyone else's.
@salil - You said it. I've started doing that for lunch dates.
@eveline - Yea, I mean I'm buying you dinner, the least you can do is order your own food! And by food I don't mean a small salad!
@anna - I'll need to see it to believe it.
@confuzd jughead - Yea, you're right actually. I think there was an episode where he got pissed off with his date when she reached over to eat from his plate. And then there was the episode with his boat where he yelled at Rachel for letting meat slip from her sandwich. Good spot!

Anonymous said...

LOL hahaha
"sparrow on a diet" :)
- lara.

Mulling Over My Thoughts said...

dude order less with women who do not finish what's on their plate!
makes economic sense in both scenarios when you are paying or when you're going dutch! either way you save!
(hehe...yeah you learn these things when you are a puneite living in bombay and friggin meals cost a bomb compared to what we have in poona!)

anup said...


Anonymous said...

arny , stop talking nonsense &%*&%*&%*&
what do u mean by
"And if I find her, I’ll marry her"

baap ka maal hai kya..jis ke sath chahe shadi karega ...

just kiddin dude...
but stop thinkin too much..and writing about such silly stufs ..

Best Regards,
The other arny

Arnold said...

@Lara - I remember that one! ;)

@Mulling Over My Thoughts - If only I knew before ordering what type she was. And that calls for the ability to reach a second date. I guess I'm so put off the first time, I never go out with the same one again!

@Anup - Matter of principal. Not money.

@The Other Arny - What do you and all? My mind constricts itself to the realms of silliness!

And 'the other arny'? I'm intrigued. Do I know?

Anonymous said...

To Anup, you mean matter of 'principle'?