Sunday, August 06, 2006

Some New "Days"

Today, as I found out rather late, was supposed to be Friendship Day -- a concept that's about as lame as a very lame man. Normally, I would laugh when I came to know of this -- lameness, like stupidity, amuses me. But this time I chose to think. It seems like almost anything can be turned into a "Day".

Here are five Days that I wait eagerly for:

27th November
"Screw Your Neighbor" Day -- Everyone gets to choose one neighbor they like and then gets to sleep with the person they pick. Of course, if more than one of your neighbors pick you as their choice, you have to sleep with all of them. This Day provides a much-needed boost to the contraceptive industry. I also believe that this Day will allow more people to celebrate World AIDS Day later on in the week (1st December).

3rd December
"Kill One Person" Day -- Everyone on the planet votes for one person they most wish to have quietly put to sleep. The person with the most votes at the end of the Day is given the lethal injection treatment. Somehow I feel the U.S. will have to look for a new bloke to fill the White House bathtub after this day every year. It may also be called "Improve Your Planet" Day for euphemistic reasons.

14th July
"Topless" Day -- Everyone, men and women, must go about doing all their daily activities without any form of apparel covering them from waist-up. (Sorry, I know most of you already get the complicated concept of "toplessness" but I felt it was my job to clarify it once again.) This day has carefully been chosen to fall in the middle of summer. People living below the equator -- iron the dog.

12th January
"Virgins" Day -- All virgins go about wearing bright pink on this Day. The objective is that virgins can spot fellow virgins and help each other out so that they don't have to celebrate this Day again the next year. It gets really interesting when you take into consideration that non-virgins can use this Day to get free sex at the price (or rather, shame) of pretending to be virgins and having to dress in pink. Yes, this truly is a Day for everyone.

5th May
"Text Message" Day -- If there's one thing I know about the kind of people who celebrate such Days, it's that they send a lot of text messages. I believe this Day would really be fun.


What particular Day would you like to see come into existence?

15 comments:

witnwisdumb said...

Ha ha! How about 'day-an-hour day' - every hour, the 'day' of that day changes, running through Father's Day, Mother's Day, Sister's Day, Brother's Day, Mixed-Gender-Sibling's Day, Friendship Day, Enemity Day, Stranger's Day... We could even call it 'Etcetera Day'.

The Smiling Girl said...

May be a Weirdo's Day, Boyfriend's Day, Girlfriend's day.. :)

Seriously.. its so yuck to have days for all those things that we have now.. as if love and friendship wait for one day...:)

Came here thru DP.. :)

Arnold said...

witnwisdumb - An excellent suggestion all right! This "clumping together" means people like us have to bear the nonsense on fewer days. But I have a feeling those who do get a kick out of celebrating Days might complain. :)

smiling girl - I, for one, celebrate Weirdos Day already -- EVERYDAY! Let's make it official now, huh?

sunshine said...

and it's not just days...
there actually are greeting card sites that never fail to 'remind' me about Clown Week, Romance Awareness Month or even Lighthouse Day for that matter!

Swapna said...

Wow.. never even heard of these :)...

Arnold said...

swapna - You just wait until they come into vogue, dear! Just wait! :)

nithin said...

hey aronold,
awesome post. lmao at the "virgins day" concept.

But seriously....the way the number of greeting card holidays is shooting up is insane...and they always find idiots who get into the spirit for the lamest of days!

Arnold said...

nithin - Aronold's away right now, but he agrees with you, says thanks and sends you his best wishes.

Cheers, Arnold.

nithin said...

oops...new to laptops..and hence making typos galore. Had an embarrassing one when i wrote thong instead of thing while chatting with a female friend.

So arnold...the great blog msg was for you.....and do give my best to aronold as well.

Arnold said...

nithin - Haha! that was a funny typo, all right... (something that the King of IRS would do on purpose)

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