Co-Passengers

The best you can hope for, of course, is an empty seat.

Security

Most of them couldn't tell a Bomb from a Bombshell!

New Girl

Books

Don't Drink and Dance

Questions

...and then there are the ones that you just know you shouldn't answer but do anyway.

Things I Don't Like

Wishing you a Merry Whatever.

You Would Think They Would Stop

This Blog Is Still Alive

Like any other self-respecting, jaded artist, this blogger is now faced with a decision about the future – what should he do! There’s the easy option of just letting this blog die but I can’t let that happen. There’s the frightening option of releasing a compilation album type “Best Of…” series of posts for your re-perusal, but that’s even worse a notion than the first. And then, finally, there’s the thought of just dragging myself to somehow squeeze out a few paragraphs that seem post-worthy – which, if you’re sharp enough, you might notice is what I’m trying to do now.

I have, however, decided to go with Secret Option no. 4 – cheap-ass, low-budget, easy-to-draw comics which will be based on styles and themes that already exist around the internet. To begin with, I shall attempt some graph comics – influenced by Indexed. (FYI – xkcd is still slightly beyond my graphical abilities – who would have thought stick figures would be so hard to draw)

Here’s today’s. More in the days coming up. The plan is to keep the comics going until I summon up the inclination to start writing again. Thanks for the patience.

Wanted: Sperm Donors

This is one such story that makes me sit back and thoughtfully scratch the stubble on my chin. Apparently there are far too few sperm donors in Britain. What is going wrong here? I really cannot believe that this is possible. I base my conclusion on a sophisticated and water-tight argument that goes as follows:

1 There are men in England.
2. Men are always willing to jerk off.
3. Jerking off produces sperm.

Are they trying to suggest that it’s almost impossible to find an English bloke who’s willing to lubricate the old axle for free? How about this? Rent a room and put up a sign that says “Free Porn”. I’m sure that will be enough!

I think one of the problems might be the way the whole donation process is currently being carried out. I’m sure they’d be a lot more willing donors if the sperm was to be deposited directly into the, ummm, vaginal orifice of the intended beneficiary. I know I’d sign up for sure! If the woman is clever enough, perhaps she could even get the guy to pay her at the end of the session!

For the record though, I hereby officially proclaim that I am willing to donate sperm if need be, preferably without the quite unnecessary intermediate inconvenience of the cup. If there are any ladies out there desperately seeking sperm—and you know you’re going to be getting the best genes with me—please feel free to get in touch. If you wish, you may also give me a hand with the job (sorry, couldn’t resist the pun)!

I’m not sick—I’m just doing my bit to help improve the world!