Thursday, March 23, 2006

How Stupid Are Vegetarians?

India probably has more vegetarians than any other country. Far more.

India’s obsession with vegetarianism is evident everywhere. There are restaurants which advertise themselves as “Pure Veg”, Jains who cover their mouths with scarves lest they involuntarily swallow an insect and Hindu Brahmins who refuse to eat from a kitchen that is also being used to prepare meat dishes.

Another place where this fascination for vegetarianism evidences itself is in the Government regulation that all food products that are manufactured, sold or advertised in this country must indicate whether they consist only of vegetarian products or not. This is done by means of a small colored circle enclosed inside a square on the product or advertisement. A green circle and square indicates that the product is vegetarian and a red circle indicates that it isn’t.

Now this is all very well for products which may lead to some sort of confusion. For example, an oil may have vegetable or animal origin. For such products I can understand the need for a color clarification. Surely, you wouldn’t want a chaste Brahmin incurring the wrath of the Gods for having consumed a product that had an animal based ingredient in it! But the other day, I came across an advertisement for Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). The billboard had a picture containing a few juicy chicken drumsticks. And of course, in the corner sitting quietly was the customary red circle inside a red square!

Talk about superfluous! An advertisement for chicken has to specifically announce to the world that it is not vegetarian? Do they believe vegetarians are stupid enough the order chicken by mistake?


Dumb Vegetarian: Ah yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken! This sounds like a nice place to stop for a meal! Could I see the menu please?

Waiter: All we have, sir, is fried chicken.

Dumb Vegetarian: Would that by any chance be vegetarian?

Waiter: Yes sir! It’s fried in pure vegetable oil by a Brahmin priest and the chicken ate nothing but grain all its life!

Dumb Vegetarian: Well then, I’ll have a bucket please. But wait a minute! What do we have here? A red circle? You lying scoundrel! This isn’t vegetarian! (Fervently mutters prayers to a few deities.)


You see the point? If there wasn’t the red circle, a lot of vegetarians might get fooled into believing that chicken is indeed a vegetarian food!

35 comments:

FifthBeatle said...

varun - dude, isnt the consulate too a "government" office?? unless u meant to say "far more than any Indian Government" office...

nina - are u saying tht if someone wants to visit the US consulate in bbay, they're supposed to arrive with *only* their clothes on them??

AWY said...

Uhm... BEDROOM TRAVELLER???
Wondering why...
hmmm...
As for vegetarians and vegetarianism... just ask nina whether she's a veggie... lol..

and i am back... only for a while, though..
*sigh..
sneaky someones rule my life...

teacup said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
FifthBeatle said...

freaky chakra - amen to tht!! :D

anna - wht are u wondering exactly??

nina - are you a vegetarian? if you are - please read freaky chakra's comment

yashita - please do not refrain urself... we wud love to hear the comments u cud come up with...

the billboard had HUGE pictures of chicken drumsticks.. no one has to be able to read english to understand tht...

ruhey said...

i m a veggie...
friends of mine have been tricked into eating pigeons, crows, etc etc...wanna know the heights of non vegeterianism...there is no milk available in Nigeria, only milk powder cuz they eat up all the cows...really..lol
neway...i agree wid that KFC advert..itz too stoooopid

FifthBeatle said...

varun - will be going to the consulate soon.. let's see for myself..

lakshmi - never said you do ;)

nina - yea, anna kinda already told me tht already... sounds like quite weird logic to me.. but hey! it's your call..

ruhey - didn't know tht about nigeria... HOW do people get tricked into eating meat??!

FifthBeatle said...

yeah, i am... need to take in some yankee air... but i'm not sure when exactly as of now..

_dirtboy said...

No comments... Except tht someone made Urvish eat an omelette.. an Egg one(dint kno tht ther's a veggie kind of omelette too, til like last week). And beliv me, he dint realize til his 4th bite tht twas non-veggie. So i DARE GUESS, tht the CIRCLES DO PLAY A BIG PART.
Plus I always got an opinion tht veggie ppl ARE total RETARDS.. they dont get enuf proteins fer their brains(Dont lynch me, u medical students, I'm juss a comp sci guy).

And hey, hey, hey!! Bedroom Traveller... Hmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! Is it a TSP kinda thingey??

_dirtboy said...

@last post of urs...

Cant do tht dude.. I'm hopin to keep him pleased till i can lay ma hands on his powerbook.. Its a mean machine and i dont wanna lose my shot at it, which is quite likely in the scenario u described, esp considerin tht its u.. ;)

Switchblade said...

Seems like everyone is out to ruffle feathers...
Strange but that too makes me feel like eating chicken ;)

Arnie dont you think you should add an extra 'l' in traveler?

PS - What kinda retarded place is pune where you cant get decent ice-cream? And by decent i mean ice-cream that is prepared WITH eggs...the way its meant to be.
I truly believe that egg-free ice cream is not ice-cream at all....its just a sorry excuse like the flavoured water 'pepsi' that we used to love as kids.

FifthBeatle said...

facesmasher - it's funny that a comment that starts with "no comments" should be so long! i have my theory on how vegetarians get to be so stupid, but perhaps some other time, ok?

dude, i wont ruin ur "powerbook" chances... pleeeaasseee lemme go!


switchblade - isn't "traveler" spelled "traveler"?? hmm.. i thought it was.. will check it up...

and yeah, it's 3.30 in the morning... my throat is dry and parched with the heat.. thanks for mentioning "ice cream" :( :(



freak chakra - GO FC GO!! i think suggest a few more animals, in case u're interested ;)

twip said...

ahhhh Im late....but what the heck.....
Bedroom traveller? Bedroom traveller?
hee......heee....*conjures up several images in mind*.....

FifthBeatle said...

megha - i don't get it... :S .. all of you guys seem to be conjuring up images after reading the new name on my blog.. but wht images??? *look of innocent confusion*

FifthBeatle said...

nina - hey! you should try squid!! it's quite good really.. especially when they put this masala like thing in it... top notch!

wht other things has anna been telling me?? lol... *sly wink*..
.
.
.

oh! and in case u didnt catch tht the first time... *sly wink*!

FifthBeatle said...

nina - hmmm... this seems to be going both ways, huh?? wht stories have you been getting from her about me that i 'dont want to know about'??

lakshmi - if u dont know what the she's telling her, then how do u know i dont want to know about them?

ishipishi said...

omg...and i thot what i had for dinner wz enuff...this whole post and d comments left me feelin hungry all over again...!!!

been long enuff widout chicken:(..

red and green...hmmm...never really paid much attention to that...but then i guess vegetarians need to luk out fr it (wat did they do before these symbols existed???)...

and squid is yum...octopus...yum...

ohh that reminds thre is sum ham in d freezer...m outta here!!!

FifthBeatle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
FifthBeatle said...

ishita - forget about my post, this comment has made me feel hungry again!! damn!

and unlike someone i know, my freezer doesnt hv any ham in it :(

FifthBeatle said...

lakshmi - oh shoot! lol... have i have ruffled some more feathers by my writing now?? people have to learn to stop taking wht i write seriously...

now wht was she telling you, again?

twisty-scientisty said...

my heads been turned inside out, my eyes have been sucked into my brain and come out of my navel. ref hitchhiker's guide.32 comments?why do u get so much bhaav.and for all those who r wondrin, a bedroom traveller is sum1 who keeps packing up his pillows and blankets and shiftin bedrooms cuz he has committment issues.jeez!

FifthBeatle said...

lakshmi - so how did my taste in music turn out? did it match up to ur high standards, oh expert?? lol

ambi - how many headS do u have?? and i didn't know ur brain was anywhere near your stomach... :S (or is ur navel in ur head?)

besides, that's just ur interpretation of wht bedroom traveler means... i beg to differ...

AWY said...

ok. enough is enough.
thats just enough abt my conversations with lakshmi... i wud appreciate it if you, arnold, declared the subject closed...

FifthBeatle said...

anna - "closed"?? aww, damn! just as it was getting to be fun... is there something you dun want me know there? ;)

FifthBeatle said...

nina - perhaps i was thrown off by the mention of my name... *rolls eyes*

FifthBeatle said...

lakshmi - yea.. u're prolly right.. maybe mayer ought to get out of here.. i need to edit tht profile in any case.. will do it then..

AWY said...

arrrgggh!!! didnt i just say stop ???
:(
*shakes head...

FifthBeatle said...

anna - i think it's over now... my music hath stoodeth the test! !!

nina - i kinda look at it the other way around.. *her* music has stood up to *my* high standards... ;)

FifthBeatle said...

nina - you people sure seem to have a LOT of respect for her music!

... and i feel like an amoeba right now!

FifthBeatle said...

nina - i'm afraid when it comes to movies i rate even lower than the amoeba! ;)

music i'm good at... not movies.. :(

FifthBeatle said...

nina - sure... now tht i've got some free time on my hands, maybe i could... btw, do you use GTalk? perhaps tht wud offer a less painful expedient of going about this.... ?

FifthBeatle said...

nina - um.. ok

add - check
delete - check

FifthBeatle said...

lakshmi - i've never even heard of "be cool"... and i think i'm proud of the fact :) !

FifthBeatle said...

lakshmi - ... which wud be?? :S... ok i'm guessing i dont want to know.. ;)

FifthBeatle said...

lakshmi - those two do.. the movie.. hmm not quite :(

FifthBeatle said...

nina - wht was so funny exactly?